Feedback that (Actually) Fuels Growth
(<5 minute read)
We’ve all been there, right? An earnest, well-meaning manager schedules a feedback session and asks you to provide your own self-assessment ahead of time. Then, when it’s time for the conversation, the sweet manager uses the information you created and, essentially, leverages it for the conversation.
There are typically some “ways to be even more effective” (i.e., what you aren’t doing well and need to do differently 😉). You may ask a couple of questions to make sure you understand, you smile and affirm your manager (you have to, right?—there’s that pesky paycheck to keep in mind), thanking them for the feedback.
If you’re lucky, the manager might ask if you have feedback for them too—but this is not the norm. The expectation is that you’ll be a great corporate citizen, prove to be “coachable,” and take the feedback to heart. This means you’ll behave differently and do what the manager suggested.
For decades, the “feedback sandwich” was the go-to method: slip some praise in before and after the tough message, like a polite but unappetizing meal. It’s time to put down the bread.
Pulling from a not-quite-new but still-on-the-mark book, Kim Scott’s Radical Candor, reminds us that honest feedback doesn’t need a sugar coating. In fact, sugarcoating can do more harm than good by eroding trust, obscuring the real issue, and making feedback feel manipulative. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant has also argued that the feedback sandwich is outdated and ineffective, often confusing recipients and diluting the impact of feedback. He says, “When praise is used to cushion criticism, the praise can come across as insincere, and the criticism might get ignored.” (Check out his full take here).
What’s Wrong with the Feedback Sandwich?
The sandwich approach often backfires because, at its core, it’s meant more for the giver’s benefit than the receiver’s. Best case scenario, both giver and receiver feel that the conversation was kind. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you are aiming to honor your colleagues with honesty, the sandwich approach can come across as contrived, disingenuous, and diluted. People see through the forced positivity, and important points get buried between layers of praise. Like too much mayo on a sandwich, the whole experience is ruined. Plus, you can’t scrape off the feedback and enjoy it anyway. Instead of an authentic conversation, the dialogue feels scripted and can cause a loss of trust. Feedback works best when it’s both direct and caring. It’s about telling the truth while showing you care personally—no bread required.
Consider What You Can Gain from Any Feedback… Even If You Don’t Agree
While much attention is paid to giving feedback, the ability to receive it gracefully is just as essential for personal growth and success. Embracing feedback begins with adopting a growth mindset. Viewing feedback not as a personal affront, but as an opportunity to learn, can transform even the toughest conversations into moments of development. Instead of feeling criticized, you start to see input from others as valuable guidance that can help you reach your goals.
When someone offers feedback (especially when it’s difficult to hear) focus first on listening without interruption. Even if a comment stings, resist the urge to respond defensively or justify your actions right away. Give yourself a chance to absorb what’s being said; take notes if it helps you process the details.
It’s also important to seek clarity. Don’t hesitate to ask follow-up questions if a piece of feedback feels vague or unclear. For instance, you could ask, “Can you provide an example of when this happened?” This ensures you fully understand the feedback and what’s expected moving forward.
Being on the receiving end of feedback takes vulnerability, so remember to express your appreciation. Thank the person for sharing their thoughts, even if the message is difficult. A simple acknowledgment like, “Thank you for sharing this with me,” helps build trust and shows you value the input.
Finally, give yourself time to reflect. Feedback can be overwhelming, and your first reactions may not always be your best. Step back, consider what was said, and think about tangible steps you can take to improve.
For example, imagine your manager shares that your reports lack depth. Instead of responding immediately or taking offense, you might listen quietly and ask, “Can you share an example of the details you’d like to see included?” Thank them sincerely for their insights and, after the conversation, review your previous reports. Use what you’ve learned to enhance future work with more thorough analysis. In this way, you show a willingness to grow—and you turn feedback into real professional progress. Understand that feedback is an opportunity to improve, not a personal attack. Shift your perspective from “This is criticism” to “This helps me grow.”
Why Does Feedback Even Matter Anyway
Feedback is the engine that drives improvement, both for individuals and teams. A Gallup study revealed that employees who receive regular feedback are not only more engaged but are 3.6 times more likely to be actively involved in their work. This regular communication does more than boost performance; it cultivates a sense of trust and investment between managers and employees. Harvard Business Review echoes this, pointing out that thoughtfully delivered feedback strengthens relationships and helps build a foundation of trust.
And it’s not just about encouragement. Feedback is a critical course-corrector. When given in a timely way, it can address concerns before they escalate, guiding behaviors and processes back on track so that small issues don't snowball into costly problems. In the best organizational cultures, feedback isn’t viewed as a threat; it's seen as an opportunity for growth, learning, and building connections between people. However, when feedback is haphazard, unclear, or poorly delivered, the results can be damaging, eroding morale and trust rather than strengthening them. This highlights why it’s so important to get feedback right—and sets the stage for the approach championed by Radical Candor.
How AI Can Help Make Better Conversations
Artificial Intelligence has the potential to significantly enhance feedback practices in the workplace. By leveraging AI tools, organizations can analyze performance data more effectively, identifying trends and areas for improvement. For instance, AI can pinpoint patterns in employee reports or projects, such as a consistent lack of detail, and offer tailored suggestions for development. When managers deliver this feedback, they can combine the insights from AI with a human touch, ensuring that the feedback is both precise and empathetic.
Take this example in action. Imagine a scenario where your manager points out that your reports lack depth. Instead of reacting defensively or interrupting, focus on actively listening to the feedback. Seek clarification by asking something like, “Can you share an example of the details you’d like to see included?” This not only demonstrates your willingness to understand but also fosters a collaborative approach to improvement. Express gratitude by acknowledging the feedback, such as saying, “Thank you for this feedback. I appreciate knowing how I can improve.” Finally, take time to reflect on the suggestions and act by reviewing past reports and incorporating more comprehensive analysis into future ones. This cycle of feedback, reflection, and action becomes even more seamless when paired with AI insights, creating a structured and constructive pathway for growth.
Don’t Let it Go to Waste
Taking action on feedback is an integral part of personal and professional development. Start by approaching feedback with an open mind, understanding that it offers a valuable opportunity to grow and refine your skills. Instead of reacting defensively, focus on listening actively and seeking clarity if needed to fully understand the suggestions being offered. Expressing gratitude for the feedback is equally important, as it shows you value the input; a simple acknowledgment such as, “Thank you for this feedback. I appreciate knowing how I can improve,” can establish a positive tone. After receiving the feedback, take time to reflect on the suggestions and identify specific ways to integrate them into your work. For instance, review past projects to see how the insights align with your performance, and apply this understanding to shape more effective approaches in the future. By combining feedback with structured reflection and deliberate action, you create a continuous cycle of improvement. Leveraging tools like AI to assist in the process can make this progression even more seamless, providing data-driven insights that complement human input and support a pathway to lasting growth.
Feedback, whether given or received, only drives change if followed by action. Here are actionable steps:
Create a Plan: Outline specific actions based on feedback. For example, if the feedback is about improving communication, set a goal to practice active listening in meetings.
Set Check-Ins: Revisit the feedback in future one-on-ones to discuss progress. This ensures accountability and shows you’re committed to growth.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge progress along the way. For example, if a team member improves their presentation skills, highlight their effort in front of the group.
Ditch the Sandwich
Feedback, when delivered and received well, is a catalyst for growth, trust, and stronger teams. Radical Candor invites us to ditch superficial methods like the feedback sandwich and instead approach conversations with honesty and care. By adopting clear communication practices, leveraging modern tools like AI, and fostering an openness to continuous improvement, organizations can create a culture where feedback truly drives success.
As Kim Scott puts it, “Radical Candor is what happens when you put ‘Care Personally’ and ‘Challenge Directly’ together.” It’s time to stop sugarcoating and start making a difference, one honest conversation at a time.