Feedback that (Actually) Fuels Growth
(<5 minute read)
We’ve all been there, right? An earnest, well-meaning manager schedules a feedback session and asks you to provide your own self-assessment ahead of time. Then, when it’s time for the conversation, the sweet manager uses the information you created and, essentially, leverages it for the conversation.
There are typically some “ways to be even more effective” (i.e., what you aren’t doing well and need to do differently 😉). You may ask a couple of questions to make sure you understand, you smile and affirm your manager (you have to, right?—there’s that pesky paycheck to keep in mind), thanking them for the feedback.
If you’re lucky, the manager might ask if you have feedback for them too—but this is not the norm. The expectation is that you’ll be a great corporate citizen, prove to be “coachable,” and take the feedback to heart. This means you’ll behave differently and do what the manager suggested.
For decades, the “feedback sandwich” was the go-to method: slip some praise in before and after the tough message, like a polite but unappetizing meal. It’s time to put down the bread.
Pulling from a not-quite-new but still-on-the-mark book, Kim Scott’s Radical Candor, reminds us that honest feedback doesn’t need a sugar coating. In fact, sugarcoating can do more harm than good by eroding trust, obscuring the real issue, and making feedback feel manipulative. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant has also argued that the feedback sandwich is outdated and ineffective, often confusing recipients and diluting the impact of feedback. He says, “When praise is used to cushion criticism, the praise can come across as insincere, and the criticism might get ignored.” (Check out his full take here).
What’s Wrong with the Feedback Sandwich?
The sandwich approach often backfires because:
It’s Disingenuous. People see through the forced positivity and can lose trust in your feedback.
It Dilutes the Message. Important points get buried between layers of praise.
It Feels Contrived. Instead of an authentic conversation, it feels scripted—and people know it.
Feedback works best when it’s both direct and caring. It’s about telling the truth while showing you care personally—no bread required.
Why Radical Candor Wins
Honesty doesn’t have to be harsh. The best feedback is both clear and kind. It thrives on two key pillars: Care Personally and Challenge Directly. Instead of tiptoeing around the truth, it invites leaders to:
Build Trust. When people know you care, they’ll trust that your feedback comes from a good place.
Promote Growth. Direct, specific feedback helps people improve—without the guesswork.
Encourage Openness. A culture of candor invites feedback in all directions, building stronger teams.
Instead of the outdated sandwich model that couches an area of growth between performative praise, think of feedback like a meal that actually nourishes.
Be Clear and Specific. Avoid generalities. Describe the situation, the behavior, and the impact.
Care Personally. Start with empathy—show you’re invested in their success.
Challenge Directly. Deliver the feedback without sugarcoating. Remember: it’s not mean, it’s clear.
Invite Dialogue. Feedback is a two-way street. Ask, “What’s your perspective?” to foster growth and understanding.
How AI Can Help Make Better Conversations
AI tools are increasingly part of the modern workplace—and they can play a helpful role in amplifying Radical Candor. Instead of replacing the human touch, AI can support leaders and teams in giving better, more actionable feedback.
Here’s how:
Highlighting Patterns: AI can analyze communication data (like team collaboration tools, project updates, and even Slack messages) to surface patterns that might be hard to spot—like recurring challenges or emerging strengths. This helps you prepare feedback that’s grounded in real data, not guesswork.
Consistency and Fairness: AI can help ensure that feedback is delivered consistently across teams—reducing the risk of unconscious bias and helping everyone get the guidance they need to grow.
Actionable Insights: Some AI tools can even suggest ways to frame feedback in a more constructive, empathetic way—helping leaders craft messages that are both direct and caring.
Continuous Learning: AI-powered platforms can encourage continuous dialogue by prompting regular check-ins, reflections, and peer feedback—making feedback a natural part of the team’s rhythm, not just a once-a-year event.
The bottom line? AI can’t replace the human relationship at the heart of Radical Candor—but it can make it easier to practice by providing the data, insights, and consistency that help us all give (and receive) better feedback.
Ditch the Sandwich
Ditch the sandwich. Radical Candor isn’t about being harsh—it’s about caring enough to be honest. As Kim Scott reminds us, “Radical Candor is what happens when you put ‘Care Personally’ and ‘Challenge Directly’ together.” That’s the recipe for trust, growth, and real impact.