Grit and Stoicism: Mental Fitness that Lasts (and Makes a Difference!)
(<10 minute read)
In a world obsessed with high-performance, step counts, protein shakes, and gym selfies, there’s one piece we too often overlook: mental fitness. Sure, we know that physical health matters. We track steps, lift weights, and squeeze in yoga between meetings. But what about the part of us that’s on the frontlines of every challenge, decision, and setback? There’s an equally important side of health that often gets sidelined in our pursuit of optimized mornings and picture-perfect routines: mental fitness.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Andrew Miki at Starling Minds, mental fitness is “a proactive, lifelong process of building mental resilience, strength, and agility.” Just like physical fitness, mental fitness isn’t a one-and-done—it’s a practice that helps us manage stress, adapt to change, and thrive in a demanding world. (Read more here)
Think about it. Your brain is at the helm of every choice you make, every challenge you face, and every goal you set. Mental fitness isn’t just self-help speak; it’s the foundation that makes success in the day-to-day grind possible. And when it comes to building this from-the-inside-out endurance, two concepts stand out as the heavy lifters of mental agility and resilience: grit and stoicism.
Yet in most workplaces (and even in our personal lives) we rarely talk about it. We measure performance by productivity, not by how effectively we bounce back after a hard day or navigate uncertainty without losing our spark. That’s where grit and stoicism come in. These aren’t just high-level leadership traits—they’re the mental fitness practices that help anyone, at any level, stay strong and steady in a world that’s always shifting.
This month, I’ve found myself reflecting on these ideas more than ever. And it reminded me of two books that deserve to stay at the top of everyone’s reading list: Angela Duckworth’s Grit and Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is the Way. These books aren’t new, but their lessons feel more relevant than ever. In a world of constant change and uncertainty, grit and stoicism aren’t just nice-to-have traits—they’re the foundation of sustainable success. I am that nerdy Mom who buys her kids these books. I’m not delusional thinking they are going to read them now, while they’re teenagers. But, someday they’ll come across them just when they need them, I’m certain. (At least I tell myself that ;) .)
Grit is about showing up, even when it’s hard. Stoicism is about focusing on what you can control and letting go of the rest. Together, they create a mindset that fuels progress without burnout. It’s not about being robotic or emotionless; it’s about resilience with wisdom. Both are more than buzzwords or inspirational quotes; they’re philosophies you can live by. Applied consistently, grit helps you dig deep when your motivation wanes, while stoicism offers the calm clarity to stay focused when chaos takes the wheel. Together, they create mental fitness that not only lasts but also equips you to thrive no matter what life throws your way. Here’s how you can build your mental muscle and grow stronger, wiser, and yes, grittier. :)
Getting Grit-y
Angela Duckworth, the author of Grit, defines grit as “passion and perseverance for long-term goals.” It’s a mix of laser focus and sheer stick-it-out-ness that matters more to success than talent, luck, or even smarts. Think of grit as the mental version of showing up to the gym at 6 AM on a rainy Monday—it’s not glamorous, but it’s how you build strength over time. Duckworth identifies four key areas that fuel grit and, ultimately, lead to sustainable success:
Interest: Success starts with curiosity. Grit isn’t about suffering through something you hate; it’s about nurturing genuine enthusiasm. Even if that initial spark feels faint, leaning into what excites you can lay the groundwork for long-term commitment.
Practice: Picture this as a deliberate, focused effort over time. Practice isn’t just showing up—it’s about learning from failures, overcoming plateaus, and continually pushing beyond your limits.
Purpose: A sense of purpose drives grit like nothing else. When your work aligns with a mission bigger than yourself, you’re more likely to persevere, rain or shine, setback or success.
Hope: It may be the underdog of Duckworth’s framework, but hope is arguably the most vital. The belief that your effort will eventually pay off keeps the wheels spinning, especially when external rewards feel nonexistent.
Grit doesn’t have to look heroic or monumental. Think about everyday perseverance: the chef who perfects a signature dish after hundreds of failed recipes, the parent who patiently helps their child sound out words after a long workday, or even the entrepreneur who keeps tweaking their pitch after a dozen rejections.
These moments aren’t headline-worthy, but they matter. And they’re living proof that grit isn’t about towering ambition, it’s about showing up, improving incrementally, and putting one determined foot in front of the other.
Can you be gritty without passion, though?
Duckworth’s work suggests you can, and sometimes you should. Passion doesn’t always strike like a lightning bolt. Sometimes you need to stick with something long enough to know whether it’s truly for you. Passion can grow through consistent effort, small wins, and the satisfaction of getting better. Trusting that progress and meaning often come after the initial uncertainty, is building grit in action. I know personally I find myself lagging when I’m trying something new and it doesn’t click right away, and we certainly see it with our boys. The art of sticking with something long enough to be good enough to know if it’s your jam or not is fading, I think. Today we are too instant gratification, living life in TikTok-sized bites, and if we don’t feel right away, we move on. It seems a great deal of joy and growth is lost when we move on too quickly. So, looking through the lens of grit might be your secret weapon in finding meaning in a challenging world.
Yet grit alone isn’t enough without proper perspective, which is where stoicism steps in.
Stoicism Isn’t Acquiescence, it’s Calm Amidst Chaos. I think of it as being undeterred.
If grit is the ability to power through, stoicism is the wisdom to step back. It teaches us to focus on what we can control and release what we can’t. It’s less about detachment and more about cultivating inner calm and unshakeable clarity. Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is the Way is a great starter book to learn more about the concept. Rooted in ancient Stoic philosophy, it feels tailor-made for our fast-paced world. Holiday reminds us that every obstacle is also an opportunity. Stoics teach us that:
We can’t control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond.
Challenges are not barriers; they’re the path.
Calm and perspective are our superpowers in chaotic times.
Holiday draws on stories of leaders, innovators, and everyday heroes who faced adversity with steady resolve. Whether it’s Ulysses S. Grant outmaneuvering his rivals during the Civil War or Amelia Earhart forging her own path in aviation, the lesson is the same: what matters most is not what happens to us, but what we do next.
Central to Stoic philosophy are strategies that keep us grounded when life throws curveballs. These aren’t esoteric platitudes, they’re straightforward habits you can use today:
Control the Controllables: Life happens. Plans derail, people disappoint, and circumstances demand detours. Stoicism reminds us to focus on where we have influence (our reactions, decisions, and effort) and to release everything else.
Reframe Challenges: Where some see roadblocks, Stoics see growth. Holiday calls this turning obstacles into opportunities. Whether it’s a tight deadline or a brutally honest critique, every challenge offers a chance to improve.
Keep Calm and Carry Perspective: Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and beloved Stoic, famously reflected on how fleeting most problems actually are. While something may feel massive now, will it matter in a year—or even a month? Perspective is a Stoic superpower.
Daily Reflection: Ancient Stoics ended their days by asking themselves what went well, what didn’t, and what could be improved. This consistent self-audit builds insight, gratitude, and resilience over time.
Imagine the professional who faces a last-minute project fire drill but approaches it methodically instead of spiraling, or the parent juggling a family drama who stays grounded regardless of external chaos. These moments require more than raw determination; they require steady emotional management, perspective, and the ability to stay focused when tensions run high.
Wonder Twin Powers Activate
The more I’ve reflected on these two books, the more I see how grit and stoicism are like the dynamic duo of mental fitness. Together, they make an unbeatable pair. Grit keeps us in the game when things get tough. Stoicism helps us manage our emotions, stay focused on what matters, and keep perspective as we navigate. It’s like the last shot in a game didn’t win the game; all the minutes leading up to that shot did. Together, they build the mental muscle that helps us navigate challenges without burning out.
Think of it like a workout routine: grit is the strength training that builds endurance and perseverance, while stoicism is the stretching and recovery that keeps us flexible and balanced. Both are necessary for long-term health, mental and otherwise. Or grit is the engine that keeps you moving, and stoicism is the steering wheel that ensures you’re headed in the right direction. Both are trainable skills, not fixed traits, which means (you guessed it) you can build them one rep at a time.
How to Build Grit and Stoicism and Create a Mental Fitness Powerhouse—One Rep at a Time
The good news is that these qualities aren’t fixed—they’re trainable. Here’s how anyone (not just leaders) can start building grit and stoicism right now:
Level Up Your Grit
Set Micro Goals: Start small. Instead of conquering the mountain, focus on the next step. Progress is the best motivator.
Create Systems for Practice: Deliberate effort beats sporadic hustle. Set aside daily time to refine your chosen skill or project.
Track Your Wins: Seeing small improvements over time reinforces perseverance and builds momentum.
Strengthen Your Stoicism
Apply the Serenity Prayer: Ask yourself, “What can I realistically control here?” Focus your energy there exclusively.
Pause Before Reacting: When emotions run high, take a moment to reflect before responding. This is the linchpin of Stoic discipline.
Visualize Success and Setbacks: Ancient Stoics practiced premeditatio malorum, or imagining what could go wrong, to prepare for adversity calmly and rationally.
Build Them Both
Pair Reflection with Action: Capture your struggles and wins through both a gritty and stoic lens in whatever medium fist you best. Some people journal, some vlog, some draw, or take photos. Regardless of how, ask yourself, “What did I tackle well today, and what perspective helped me stay balanced?” And make a note.
Align with Your Purpose: Whether it’s a personal value, team mission, or big-picture goal, a deeper “why” fuels perseverance and focus. Post this where you can see it every day and use it as a lens to keep you on track and moving forward. Tethered to who you are and what you are seeking.
Leverage Community: Grit and stoicism thrive in relationships. Surround yourself with people who inspire resilience and offer steady support.
Bringing It All Together
Grit and stoicism aren’t just for CEOs or athletes; they’re for all of us. They’re the mental muscles that help us navigate uncertainty, keep moving forward, and turn obstacles into opportunities. I’ve come back to these books time and time again because their lessons feel timeless and because every time I open them, I find something new that helps me grow.
Mental fitness isn’t built overnight, but with grit and stoicism, you can train yourself to meet challenges with persistence and poise. Each small choice to persevere, reframe, and refocus strengthens the muscle that keeps you thriving, even in tough times.
Here’s a challenge for you: take one step today to flex your mental fitness muscle. Identify a task that’s hard but meaningful and commit to seeing it through to the next step (grit). Then, the next time something outside your control goes awry, practice redirecting your attention to what you can influence (stoicism).
Because in the marathon of life, it’s not about how fast you sprint, it’s about showing up every day, adjusting your pace, and finishing strong. 1% better every day over time makes a huge difference.
And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, the obstacle isn’t in your way; it is the way.
Bonus action if you are all in: pick up Grit and The Obstacle Is the Way this month. Take notes. Try one new practice from each book. And ask yourself:
👉 What’s one small step I can take today to build my mental fitness muscle?
Because in a world that’s always changing, it’s not about the easy path, it’s about the mindset that keeps you moving forward for the long game, one step at a time.